My jaw has hit the ground so many times it has a hefty callus built up that is not at all attractive but as of last night, there is a new dent in the floor.

I’m simply flabbergasted over the new political tactic.  When confronted with the truth on a subject; deny it.  Just call it a lie.

I have a feeling this one is going to be a winner because I cannot think of a single way to fight it. 

I’ve made no pretenses as to my political affiliation.   Walter Cronkite said “I believe that most of us (journalists) are liberal” and Erma Bombeck said “I am a flaming, liberal Democrat” but perhaps Will Rogers put it best, “I am not a member of any organized political party.  I am a Democrat.”  However, when Republican Congressman Joe Wilson interrupted the President’s address to a joint session of Congress by calling him a liar, the only quote that came to mind was Gomer Pyle.

“Shame, shame, shame.”

When Gomer went to shaming a body, that person could not get a word in edgewise but the lesson remains.  The President reacted coolly by looking at the congressman like he was fly to be swatted and Speaker Nancy Pelosi glared at the offender like she wanted to shout, “Off with his head!” which is really kind of funny given the Republican response was given by Congressman Charles Boustany who once tried to buy a lordship like Zonker in the comic strip Doonesbury. 

But no matter how many times Lord Boustany and Congressman Joe “Manners of a Turnip” Wilson fuss about it, the truth is Health Care Reform does not cover illegal immigrants, death panels or federally-paid-for abortions and it will not add to the federal deficit or reduce Medicare or Medicaid benefits in any way.

It’s like when I was trying to master the times tables and sometimes I would get in a hurry and when I saw “3 x 2” would answer “5.”  Every time I did that, Mrs. Abbot would mark it wrong.  Now I could have argued with Mrs. Abbot that she was interfering with my constitutional right to believe there were circumstances when 3 x 2 would sometimes equal 5 and that there was a conspiracy by the media to hide the truth but Mrs. Abbot would have probably responded that while I had the constitutional right to be a moron if I wished to be one, 3 x 2 always equaled 6 because, you see, Mrs. Abbot did not tolerate a good deal of nonsense.

Perhaps if Mrs. Abbot hadn’t passed away from the dreaded disease of schoolteachers everywhere, “Chalk Lung,” her wisdom would still benefit us today.  But instead, we’re more like my Jack Russell Terrier, Scooby.

As many of you know, Scooby hates cows.  Out of all the dangers this world poses to its inhabitants, Scooby has decided in all his pinheadedness, the Moo-Moo Menace is the greatest threat to little dogs EVER.

He knows where they live and if he is riding in the car, he is on constant patrol.  Only when we pass an open field does he go to DefCon Five.  Ears shoot up, tail stub goes to attention and the eyes alertly scan the horizon so that he may battle the bovines on his terms and his terms alone. 

He barks at them.

Yes, I know this may seem a little extreme but Scooby has decided the Geneva Conventions do not apply to cows. 

But Scooby is also like some of my fellow Americans who disbelieve the facts.  Even when Scooby cannot actually see a cow, he still thinks they are there.  You see, these cows are hiding which makes them Sneaky Cows, which we all know are the most dangerous cows of all.

Will Rogers also said, “There are three kinds of men.  The one that learns by reading.  The few who learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”

Yap all you want, folks.  Cows don’t hide.

Neither does the truth.