I’m having a difficult time getting started this year.

Last year had its high points and many good things did happen.  But didn’t it seem to last extra long?

Every time a year ends the cable channels are flooded with shows telling us we are, in short, going to die very soon.  These are the End Times don’t you know.

I don’t believe the end is so very close.  I still haven’t learned how to program my phone or how to work every television in my house.  I have mastered the fax machine although I have to wonder how it was decided for the answering tone of a fax machine to be the most annoying sound ever heard and is, I assume, a recording of R2-D2 straining for a bowel movement.

Why couldn’t it be a pleasant gong chime?

The programs are relentless in their predictions of doom.  The End Times are nigh and nighing End Times are cause for alarm.  They insist certain prognosticators are trustworthy and must be believed about current events because they foresaw the Holocaust. 

Really.  Someone guessed there would be systematic persecution and murder of Jews.  Who could have seen that coming?  It’s only the foundation of every holiday on the Jewish calendar. 

Oh, but that’s not all they insist.  This or that seer said the world will end when there are natural disasters, social upheaval and tension in the Middle East and since all of these are happening right now, the end must be near! 

Apparently it must take a very long time for the world to end since this has been the state of the planet for quite a while.

These same people are determined to see disaster around every corner and are confident we will be attacked by terrorists any day now.  Based on my latest encounter with airport security, it seems today’s terrorist is a disheveled middle-aged mother of two who will be dangerously armed with nail clippers, a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew and shoes. 

You’ve been warned, so keep an eye out for these characters.  They are a tricky lot.

A lot of folks are up in arms, not an attractive sight, claiming the Mayans said the end of the world is supposed to happen December 21, 2012 because God likes the number twelve. 

The only way my parents could get us to midweek services was to scare us into believing Jesus was coming back on a Wednesday night and if we weren’t in church we would go to Hell.  December 21, 2012 is a Friday so I’m not too worried.  I think the Mayans were hoping to get things wrapped up in time to enjoy the weekend.

Even if you don’t believe the predictions, the worriers say, you must be frightened of someone setting off a nuclear bomb killing all life on Earth except for cockroaches, Sarah Palin and Donald Trump’s hair. 

Actually, it should be apparent to all that weapons of mass destruction are not necessary to attack America.  You simply have to inject a very large dose of stupidity into the financial markets and then poof, everything goes splat.

If you still held any hope that the Earth will not end by any of these methods, the worrywarts also proclaim there is a meteor on its way to extinguish us like the dinosaurs thus providing the oil for the next generation to fight over.

And who knows?  Maybe all of these forecasts of doom are right.  But I find comfort in studying history and seeing how many times experts were sure the End Times were at hand.  The world didn’t end in the year 100, 500, 1000 or 2000.  There have been always wars, calamities, famine and disease but at least some of us soldiered on. 

And I expect that will continue to happen.  Even on Wednesday nights.