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| The End of the World |  |
and here’s the direct link to the column: http://classicrock.about.com/od/recommendationsandreviews/a/pigsfly.htm AND a special thanks to KC and Ron at KTWS for cluing me in on the end of the world as we classic rockers know it. Heavy sigh. Also, here is the column with my editor Dave White’s links and photos: End of the WorldApparently pigs CAN flyFrom Lynette Sheffield,for About.comSee More About: Will the world end when Def Leppard goes country? Photo by Kevin Winter / Getty Images Well, apparently the world ended and I missed it. Again. You know how people are always saying once something utterly fantastic happens, the world will end? For example, “When the United States of America tortures its prisoners of war, it’ll all be over.” Okay, bad example. Although you could not have been all that surprised to find out one of the designers of that program reached his crowning achievement in life when, on a hunting trip, he shot an old man in the face AND got the retired attorney to say he was sorry for getting in the way of the Vice President’s bullets. You read that right. A lawyer apologized. But the world didn’t end. How about when the Boston Red Sox win the World Series? Twice? When Aerosmith records with rap group Run-DMC? When someone other than Freddie Mercury sings "Fat Bottomed Girls"? When anyone from Guns N’ Roses to Quiet Riot to Shakira attempts to cover AC/DC music? Classic rock gone country You could have said, “Hell will freeze over when heavy-metal, hair-band Def Leppard is nominated for three Country Music Television Music Awards on their collaborations with Tim McGraw and Taylor Swift.” Satan must be putting in a large order for ice skates because that little gem was just announced. There have been other bizarre cover songs recorded. Limp Bizkit covering The Who’s "Behind Blue Eyes," Dolly Parton doing Led Zeppelin’s "Stairway to Heaven" and Celine Dion’s butchering of AC/DC’s "You Shook Me All Night Long" are all apoplectic in nature but none was worse than the time I was in a grocery store and I heard a Muzak version of Jimi Hendrix’s "The Wind Cries Mary." It was all I could do to not shove my head into the frozen peas and scream, “Take me home, Lord Jesus.” How about when anyone believes Stephen Colbert’s Colbert Report is real? A recently released Ohio State University study The Irony of Satire reported “conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism.” Let it be said when Florida Representative Bill Posey complained of Colbert’s lack of civility in implying Posey was the “illegitimate grandson of an alligator” that Stephen Colbert displayed no proof as to the grandmother’s marital status. But probably the most common sign of the end times has been “When pigs fly...” Well, sauce my ribs and call me supper but it has already happened. As Seen on TV I was flipping through the channels the other day and every station was carrying on about “the swine flew.” That’s right. The pigs done went and came back already and here I was trying to figure out why Lost was stuck in 1977 and if that was truly the case, could they perhaps at least mention back then they had the original lineup of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Ray Charles and all four Beatles still around? While I was puzzling over trivialities such as that, the world ended and pigs flew and I missed it. That must have been quite a sight. I guess we’ll all just have to wait until the next time the world ends. Say, maybe when we finally elect a black man as President. Oh, crap. See Also AC/DCDef LeppardThe Who Further Reading The BeatlesJimi HendrixLed Zeppelin
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